This is your brain.

You know you're having a bad day when your neurologist puts up 2 different MRI's on the light board and says, "This is your brain. And then pointing to the other one says, this is what a normal brain is supposed to look like." He then asked me if I drink (alcohol). When I told him no, he encouraged me to start.

I didn't plan on this. I planned on dying of heart disease by the time I reached 53. Now, I've got to figure out how to navigate the rest of my life with a significant portion of my brain permanently damaged. And by what you may ask? My first guess was the cornucopia of illicit drugs that I smoked, injested and snorted during the 70's. But no... the good doctor said that I have high cholesterol... and there you go. I swear no one ever told me that you could eat yourself stupid. He also said to never smoke again (it's been 25 years since I'd quit smoking ((except for that 6 months in 1998 when I fell off the wagon)). Has anyone ever heard that smoking can cause brain damage? He even cautioned me about second hand smoke. I wonder if I can sue my parents. I think the neurologist is winging it.

Ironically, it all started on Good Friday of this year. Sat down for dinner with the family, and while we were saying grace, I slipped into another dimension. The emergency room physician called it Transient Global Amensia (TGA). I couldn't remember who people were or where I worked. The good news is that for about 2 hours I'd forgotten that George W. was the president of the United States. Anyway, it all came back to me, and it was kind of fun until they started looking under the hood.

Did you know that your brain consists of grey matter and white matter. The grey matter is the really important stuff, that which you can't do without. It's on the surface of the brain, like an orange peel. The white matter is the circuitry that the grey matter uses to communicate with. It's deeper inside the brain, like the pulp of an orange. Did you ever get an orange that looked real good on the outside, but the inside was kind of dried out. That's my brain. Now you know just about as much as my neurologist.

Well, thanks to the miracles of modern chemestry, my cholesterol is now low enough where I can start worrying about dying from something else. I need more sleep than ever before, but I'm ok with that, since it is the ultimate form of escapism. I'm getting accustomed to the tinitis. It's like listening to a radio station that's just not quite tuned in all the way. And I am enjoying the daily cocktail. Cheers.